Shut It, Bitch!

During this stupid-crazy time of year, I encourage you to give yourself the gift of self-acceptance. Oh yeah, you’re going to hear me talk A LOT about self-acceptance in the upcoming weeks. So, well, accept it! I believe self-acceptance is the key to success… successful relationships, successful career, parenting, fitness, the list goes on and on.

Tell me if I’m wrong, but I’m guessing you downplay yourself quite a bit. See if this sounds familiar, “Oh my goodness you look great today.” Your response, “are you kidding? Look at this huge zit…look at the gray in my hair….look at the stain on my shirt.” Or how about this, “Your daughter’s birthday party was so much fun!” Your response, “oh, well obviously you didn’t go to Anna Fancypant’s party last weekend. It was so awesome. They had blah, blah, blah.”

SELF.ACCEPTANCE!

Every time you find negative self-talk bubbling up in that pretty little head of yours say, “shut it, bitch!” You can say it out loud at first if you want – it might be kind of fun. Or at the very least your craziness will totally distract everyone from that gray in your hair. Honestly, I’ve struggled for a super long time with body image. No matter what size I was, what I saw in the mirror didn’t match what others saw. I was so incredibly self critical, I didn’t even enjoy my goal weight. Oh of course I did a little happy dance when I saw “the number”. And yes, I had a ridiculous grin on my face when I bought a pair of jeans with a really low number in them. Aside from that? I was worried about “toning up”. I was worried about running farther or doing more or (gasp) gaining back the weight. I never enjoyed that number. It turns out, my happiness had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with a number. 

Since I wasn’t happy, old habits started showing back up in my life. Exercise became an option. Having seconds became okay because “tomorrow” I was going to get back on track. After all, I knew exactly what to do in order to get right back to where I was. You know, back to that number. Except my old tricks weren’t working. Or more than likely, I wasn’t as dedicated to them. This time around, I didn’t have a “why”. My “why” the first time I lost weight was to get to a certain number. I achieved that goal and it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be and I knew that in the back of my head. So this time around, once I “started” to lose weight again, I didn’t have a real “why”. My “why” was totally half-ass while my actual ass was more like an ass and a half.

There is little that is more humbling than losing weight in front of friends and family just to gain some of it back. I’m a personal trainer. That isn’t supposed to happen. In fact, I sometimes forget I’ve put on a few extra pounds. Right up until I see someone I haven’t seen in a while and I get that, “oh, well, um look at you” look from them. You know that look.

BUT, things have really started clicking for me lately. What has changed? Not my pant size. Not the size of my bootylicious booty. Nope, in fact my pants are tight and I’ve unofficially given up jeans. Why in the hell would I wear something that is so uncomfortable it cuts into my skin? Or is so loose in the waist in order to fit over the rest of my womanliness? The only thing that has changed is my perspective. I refuse to listen to the mean girl that lives in my head.

Oh it’s not always easy either. I look in the mirror and she really starts her shit sometimes. But, I’m a chic with an attitude and I don’t let bitches talk to me like that; not even the ones that live in my head. So I just look at her and smile and tell her, “not today. You have NO control over me today.” It doesn’t always work. She wins sometimes. But, I will NOT let that discourage me to continue to tell her to eff off. Nope. I’m going to continue to shut her down day after day even when I’m not feeling it. I will continue to shut her down until my voice is consistently louder than hers.

If I can do it, so can you. Make yourself the “why”. You are worth it. You are absolutely perfect just the way you are. You have to believe that. Believe it in your heart and your brain will follow. A number in your jeans or on your scale will not increase or decrease your awesomeness. The key to your happiness is in your way of thinking, not your way of eating. Start treating your body with the love and respect it deserves and you will “magically” discover your happy weight. You will over eat less because it’s not really what your body wants. You will find the workout that is for YOU and you will enjoy doing it. Even if it’s not what “everyone else is doing”.

Prove me wrong. I dare you.

Fruit Loops For Lunch

I’m also taking that approach with my health, but it’s not been an easy road. Because I have been in pretty damn fantastic shape in my life, it’s easy to look at that as the gold standard. While I’m certainly no slob, I’m not in the “best” shape I’ve been in my life. I’ve caught myself thinking that “walking” isn’t an exercise and if that’s all I’m going to do then I might as well just do nothing. I mean, I was a runner for goodness sake. Walking is SO below my fitness level. I’ve thought, “I could really go for some relaxing yoga right now.” Just to talk myself out of it because it’s not “up to” my fitness level. I see people in blogs and on facebook who are less experienced than me doing AMAZING things and rather than encourage me, it discourages me. In the meantime, that kind of thinking led me to doing NOTHING AT ALL!

But dude, that kind of thinking is totally jacked up! By only accepting the highest level of fitness from myself, I’ve inadvertantly  accepted doing nothing. That has led to a 15 pound weight gain. That’s pretty much like saying, “Since I don’t feel like making my kids an elaborate breakfast buffet, I’m just not going to feed them. They deserve better. So instead I’m just going to sit here and read mom blogs about really good moms and feel sorry for myself.” WTF? See how stupid that is?

Look, I’m not saying you shouldn’t push yourself. I’m a huge advocate of setting big goals and SURPRISING yourself. I truly believe we are totally capable of way more than we think. I also think we should give ourselves a break. If walking is truly all we have in us on a particular day, then walk. It is so much better than sitting on the couch. The couch is where motivation goes to die.

Sometimes walking – and Fruit Loops – are enough.

Flaws and All

I’ve been blogging for about a year and a half now. While it seems like I just started it also seems, at the same time, that I’ve always blogged. I enjoy writing and most of the time, the stuff just writes itself. I’ve evolved from trying to do a motivational and instructional blog to sharing some of my own struggles with you. I’ve changed the look of the blog about a bazillion times (seriously, though, that’s super fun to do!). I’ve changed the web address of the blog a few times. If I would have stayed right where I was, who knows how many followers I might have by now. But, I took the chance and “started over” by starting a brand new address. And then another. Through all of that, what I was really seeking was me.

Over the course of the time I’ve been blogging, I’ve joined gyms, quit gyms, (I’ve quit and rejoined the same gym like 3 times). I’ve found new classes, I’ve tried classes that were definitely not what I was looking for. I’ve tried working out at home. I’ve tried working out at the gym. I’ve tried cardio only, I’ve tried getting serious about weight lifting. I’ve tried this weight loss method or that one. I’ve looked into “coaching” schools so I can help teach people how to live better. I’m constantly searching for answers. But the truth is, I only need one thing that will answer all of my questions.

I need a positive self-image and I don’t have it. All those other things I’ve been doing? Well, they were just the distractions while my brain finally caught up with the rest of me. So, I’m done “changing” everything around me (except maybe the look of the blog, because that shit is FUN I tell ya!). What I need to work on has absolutely nothing to do with my abs or how many calories a bagel has. What I need to do is learn to honestly and authentically love myself and my body for all that it is and all that it isn’t.

My “theme” for 2012 was simplicity. I think my brain needed simplicity to quiet down. I needed to get rid of all the excess so I could “find” what I was looking for. And what I was really, truly looking for was a way to accept myself, flaws and all. My theme for 2013 is going to be “flaws and all”. I’m flawed. I make mistakes as a wife, mom, employee, friend, daughter, sister, etc. Why? Because I’m flawed. I don’t look like a super model in the mirror. Hell, I don’t even look like pictures of myself from a few years ago. I’m flawed. I can’t have a team following me around telling me the right things to do or say. They can’t airbrush me to make me look idealistic. They can’t do my hair and make up. (Although that part would be sort of awesome.) I can’t have a team to tell me if I have broccoli in my teeth or toilet paper on my shoe. I can’t have a team motivating me constantly or pushing me at every work out. I can’t have someone slap the donuts out of my hand (dude, I will break someone’s hand!). You know what? That’s okay. It’s time to accept myself for all that I am.

Flaws and all.

What You Can Learn From An Eleven Year Old Swimmer

Coach (Photo credit: williamnyk)

My eleven year old daughter is a swimmer. She gives herself this label unapologetically. She doesn’t say, “oh, I swim.” No. She says, “I’m a swimmer.” It doesn’t matter how fast she goes, how many personal best times she hits, or how many first place positions she receives. She is  a swimmer. We don’t have to ask if she’s going to practice. She is. We don’t have to check before entering her into a swim meet. She’s swimming. We don’t have to wonder if she’ll like the funny swim tee we found. She will. She’s a swimmer.

At her meet this weekend she didn’t do so hot. She added times to every single swim; not just a little, but a significant amount of time. She tried to brush it off like it didn’t bother her. Of course it did. Her Dad and I are her biggest cheerleaders. We are at every single swim meet whispering under our breaths, “Come on, baby, come on, baby!” at her every stroke, every turn. We meet with her after every single swim and discuss how she did – good or bad. Her Dad is passionate. In fact, we don’t see eye to eye on the best way to motivate and keep her motivated. He grew up in a competitive household and I didn’t. Naturally we approach things differently. His passion sometimes manifests itself with flailing arms and a loud voice when he’s discussing her swim. He got so frustrated at the meet this weekend that he just stopped. He couldn’t say anything to her. And she cried. She asked me to talk to him. “Mom, he doesn’t even care. He didn’t even discuss my swim, he just asked if I had enough snacks.” I asked her in return, “I thought you got upset when Daddy talked to you like that. I didn’t think you’d want him going over each swim with you. You always get argumentative and insist you did your best.” Her response? “No, I want Daddy to talk about it with me. That’s how I get better. That’s how I know what to work on.” Daddy 1 – Mommy 0.

Her Dad emailed the Coach on Monday following the meet, asking what she needed to work on since she had posted some less than stellar times. (Side note – she cut some SERIOUS time on her previous two meets. I’m talking kick-ass, hell yeah that’s my baby! time.) The Coach responded with, “she’s doing fine”. Fine? But, she added time! The Coach went on to explain that if she focuses on technique, improved times always follows. The important thing is that she enjoys it and perfects her technique. She needs to focus on the “how” and the improvement will follow. And the most important thing of all is that she continues to enjoy her sport because she will not improve at a sport she resents.

I learn a lot from my kids. I’d be missing out on a major opportunity if I didn’t. Here are the lessons to be learned from this:

• Own it. You are an athlete. If you run, you’re a runner. If you swim, you’re a swimmer. Own it. You don’t need an Olympic medal to be proud of what you do. It doesn’t matter if everyone around you is better. You just have to show up and claim it. Mindset is half the battle.
• Find what works for you regardless of outside pressure. I thought her Dad’s style was too rough. I didn’t grow up playing sports. Not that I’m of the “oh, everybody’s a winner” mentality. Far from it. I think I’m somewhere in the middle. But, his style worked for her. She craved the feedback and apparently the way it was delivered even if it made me cringe. It pushed her. It made her want to be better. It helped her focus and she loved it. My hugs and high fives were only part of what she needed after each swim. She also needed a kick in the ass. She craved it and when she didn’t get it, she was upset. This is the feedback that worked for her and she knew that enough to insist on it. INSIST on using what works for you even if no one else can understand why.
• Doing things the right way consistently is more important that being the best. You cannot improve if you don’t focus on doing things the right way. If she focused on having good times every single time she swam, she’d give up. Who wouldn’t? Does she get excited when she posts a good time? Hell YES! She worked for that shit. She practiced and practiced. She took the time to improve every stroke. She paid attention to the details. So WHAT if you can’t run as fast as your friend? So what if everyone around you has already run a half marathon, lost 100 pounds, or (seems to) eat perfect all the time. Do YOU, baby! Focus on the tedious, the technique, the little stuff. Show up. Every damn day. The successes will come. They always do when you put in the work.
• P.S. If you tell my daughter I’ve learned anything from her OR tell my husband that he was right, I’ll have to delete this post and any supporting evidence. So, let’s just keep this between us, kay?

December Challenge – Keep the Mojo

Oaxaca Calendar 2012: December (Photo credit: planeta)

My mojo seems to have reappeared recently and I can’t tell you how thankful I am for that. I find it takes just one missed workout or one bad week to fall off that proverbial wagon and much, much longer to claw my way back on it. I’m easily motivated, but lose it quickly. To keep myself going and to not fall off the friggin’ wagon, I’m challenging myself in December. It’s a pretty simple one since December can sometimes be pretty hectic.

Work out more days in December than I don’t.

There are 31 days in December. That means I have to work out at least 16 days to meet my challenge. See? I get 15 whole days of NOT working out if I choose. I really hope I don’t choose to take all 15 days off, but like I said, things get pretty hectic. Holiday parties not just for our family, but adult parties, kid parties, school parties, etc.

The thing about goals – they have to be achievable. If I say I’m working out 5 days a week in December I could miss a day the first week and get all pissy and throw my hands in the air (like I just don’t care). But, if I set an achievable goal, I’m encouraged to keep going. (There’s a difference between easy and achievable. Make sure you know it!)

So, who’s with me? Who can commit to working out just 16 days the month of December? Come on! You can do it!!!! You know you want to. 😉

I Am Never, Ever, Ever…Going to be Perfect

Taylor Swift (Photo credit: jennnnnyf)

I have discovered what my problem is. Okay, maybe not all my problems, that would take forever. But it is a big one that I’ve been struggling with. In fact, it’s one that seems to have started around the same time I started blogging and my facebook page. Here’s the problem. I’m not perfect. (GASP!!!!)

Okay, so you probably figured that out a long time ago. But sometimes you just can’t see the forest for the trees and I was sitting in the middle of a big honkin’ forest. Wearing wooden goggles. Covered in leaves. Look, I never actually thought I was perfect, but I did think I was supposed to be. Why? Well, I don’t really have a good explanation. That’s why the whole thing is crazy.

Here are a few things that led me to the ridiculous conclusion that I was supposed to be perfect.

People said I inspired them.
SO, if I’m inspiring to someone and then they find out I have failed (missed a workout, gained a few pounds, lost every ounce of motivation), then I’m  no longer inspiring. I have failed them. The very people who thought I was inspiring. Ya know what? It’s also inspiring to find out someone is real. I hate reading an article about a “fit” celebrity who says they never workout. 1 – They’re lying. 2 – They have a ridiculous metabolism, but forget that working out is about so much more than how you look.

I am a certified personal trainer.
Well, technically I was certified. I haven’t renewed my certification yet, but I digress. I’ve mentioned this before, but that certification didn’t come with instructions. It didn’t come with motivation. Sure, I passed the exam to become certified. But, that’s like taking a lamaze class and thinking it makes you a perfect parent. Guess what? When you take that baby home from the hospital, you don’t arrive in your beautiful new nursery with all the answers. As a parent, you do your best with what you know. You learn a lot (I mean A LOT) as you go. Things you thought would work don’t. Things you never imagined you’d be doing work like a charm. Guess what? Training, working out, finding your fitness sweet spot…it’s all trial and error. It’s learn as you go. Things that worked for you while you’re new to fitness may not work for you once you have more experience. Things change. The only thing that does stay the same is that I need to keep reading, keep learning. I will never, ever (“ever, ever” sung like Taylor Swift) know it all. And I’m okay with that. (Most days.)

I am a Lifestyle and Weight Loss Management Specialist.
Whatever that means.

I’m not perfect. I’m not a perfect mother. Or a perfect wife. Or employee. Or anything. Neither are you and that’s totally cool. We’re not supposed to be. What would we do with all our free time if we were perfect and already knew it all?

Lady Beasts

Free weights (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what the “perfect” gym would look like. If I’m being honest, I have used something I disliked about a gym as an excuse not to go. You know, “I hate that place because I don’t like their rough towels.” (What? I’ll use any excuse not to work out sometimes. I mean, I can’t be expected to work out if I have to wipe myself down with a scratchy towel. I’m not a barbarian!).

I’ve actually been bouncing ideas off a couple friends of mine in the fitness industry. I was surprised to discover both would be interested in women’s only gyms. I mean, yes, they are women too, but they are both fitness instructors. Instructors! That means they have confidence out the wazoo, right? They are both adorable and, of course, fit.

Well, it turns out no matter how cute and fit you are, some areas of a gym can be intimidating. The most intimidating? Free weights. Oh, I know, I’ve told you before to just waltz up there and grab some weights and go. And I totally believe that. I’ve done it and was always glad I did. That didn’t stop all the staring, however. (Guys, I’m talking to you!) Were they staring because I was some Hottie McAwesome pants? Or was it because they were impressed with my technique and strength? Or maybe I had toilet paper sticking out of the back of my shorts? The reason doesn’t matter. The fact that I was walking up to a free weight area that was dominated by men was intimidating. And that’s coming from a person who has researched and researched lifting routines. So it’s not like I don’t know what I’m doing.

My cute fitness instructor friends? Also intimidated. Yep. Women who are in shape as part of their jobs are also intimidated to grab a pair of free weights in front of a mostly male audience. It’s just uncomfortable.

So, what are our options? Well, until I hit the lottery and open up this dream gym of mine (oh you will LOVE it!!!), we have to make due. Guys, you’re not all pigs. We know that. And I don’t think most of us ladies are thinking, “OMG, every time I go in the gym all the guys are dying to ask me out.” Nope. We just don’t want to look like idiots.

Ladies, we have to suck it up and belly right up to that free weight area. Do some research and be confident with what you’re doing. Have a routine written or printed out so you aren’t just standing there wondering where to start. Make some friends at the gym. It is surprisingly easy to make friends at the gym. Make a lifting friend. Things are less scary in pairs.  And just know the hot fitness instructors are nervous too. Guys, it’s time to move over and make room for the lady beasts!

The Way You Do One Thing Is The Way You Do Everything

English: Day Planner / Calendar screenshot (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“The way you do one thing is the way you do everything.” This was something that was said at a business seminar I went to a few weeks ago. The more I think about that statement, the more true it becomes.

I’m a researcher. I love researching topics. I love looking into the “best way” of doing things. I love setting up programs, projects, spreadsheets, etc. Nerdy? Yes! But it brings me great joy. Hey, I can’t help how I’m wired.

For example, I spent weeks researching the best productivity tools. I discovered that I had begun procrastinating more than normal and I thought if I could just get organized, it would make all the difference. I tried out several. I used wunderlist for a while. It has a beautiful interface and my only complaint was it didn’t have repeating tasks. That was okay, though. I worked with it. I was productive.

That wasn’t good enough though. In researching I had come across so many other tools, what if there was something better? I’m now certain I have usernames and virtually every online task management site that is available. Some I knew right away weren’t for me.

I felt like I hit the mother load when I started using toodledo. The reviews were fantastic on this one, but it said it was definitely a difficult tool to learn. HA! Challenge accepted. I mastered that sucker within a few days. I used it for a couple of months. It is a really great tool. If I were using an online task manager, THAT would be the one I use.

But, here’s what I discovered – I actually had more fun setting them up and learning how to use these systems effectively than I did in utilizing them. Once I’ve mastered it, it’s no fun anymore. Guess what I use now? My FranklinCovey that I’ve been using off and on since 1998. Yep. Pencil and paper.

If I’m honest with myself, I do the same with work outs. (The way you do one thing is the way you do everything.) I can spend hours researching the best workouts. I take great pride in this research and I can put together one hell of a work out. Actually doing the work out? Well, it’s just not as fun as doing all the prep work.

Oh, who am I kidding? This isn’t limited to task management and working out. This applies to pretty much everything I do. I’m a planner, coordinator, organizer. Once it’s time to take action, I get bored. I’m ready to start something new. Learn something new. Create something new.

The good news is, it’s important to know our strengths and weaknesses. We can’t compensate for our weaknesses unless we know what they are. The bad news…well Yoda said it best. “Knowing is not enough; we must apply.” Damn you, Yoda!

Three Kinds of People

“3” (Photo credit: striatic)

When it comes to fitness and nutrition, there seem to be three kinds of people. There are those who think they are never doing enough, those who think they are doing enough (but aren’t), and those who get it just right. This little Goldilocks would like to be one of those who get it just right, but I’m not quite there. Yet.

Those Who Think They Are Never Doing Enough
These are the people who think they need to work out HARD seven days a week. A rest day makes these people crazy. Rest? They don’t need no stinkin rest! When they leave the gym, they aren’t totally satisfied. Sure, they lifted weights for an hour, but what about cardio? Or could they have gone harder? Maybe just one more leg exercise? These people push themselves to the point of exhaustion and just give up. Their eating goes from almost “perfect” to total crap. They are just going to get fat anyway, if they can’t go to the gym and kill it every single day. (I am unfortunately one of these people. One hour spin, followed by one hour of yoga? Yes, please. And when I get home, I’ll go ahead and throw in some lunges as a bonus. Then I’ll eat a lettuce leaf and wonder why I’m tired. Okay, I don’t really eat lettuce leaves. That’s just silly. But after a week or two, I give up. No one can possibly keep up this pace.)

Those Who Think They Are Doing Enough
These are the people who think a ten minute walk is enough. Not that there is anything at all for a ten minute walk. If you’re just starting out, seriously, any movement you can get is fantastic. I’m talking about the people who never push themselves. They over-estimate how much they work out and completely under-estimate what they are eating. These are the people who will tell me Diet Coke is going to kill me while they have pizza juice dripping off their chin. Even if the pizza has a whole grain crust, light cheese, etc, if you eat the whole pie, you’ve defeated the purpose. The same people will eat an entire box of low-fat cookies, because they are “healthier”. They will get on the treadmill at the gym and go at a crazy slow pace, never breaking a sweat, and not understand why they aren’t seeing a difference. I’m not slamming these people. Trust me, the other category (up above) is just as messed up.

Those Who Get It Just Right
These are the people who have found a balance that works for them. They have figured out a schedule for working out and have stuck to it. The “when” doesn’t matter. It’s the consistency that gets these people to their goal. Whether it’s a morning workout before the family wakes up, lunch time, or after work, they have found what works for them. They have also found their workout sweet spot. They have found something(s) that they love doing that keeps them coming back for more. They don’t fret if they miss a workout. They know they’ll be back in the gym on their next day. They don’t freak if their workout was less than stellar. They know that not all days can be 100%. They take rest days. They also eat guilt free. Yes, you read that right. Guilt.freaking.free! They eat what they love and understand all things in moderation. And if they happen to eat a whole box of strawberry pop tarts, they dust themselves off and carry on. Nobody’s perfect. But these people have embraced their imperfections and have made being healthy a part of life. (Man, I’m starting to really not like “these people”.)

I’ve told you which one I am, but boy am I working on being the “just right” version of myself. Which one are you? If you’ve balanced it out, I’d love to hear from you about how you got to that place.

I'm baaaaaack!

Where do I start? First of all, you should know it’s not some glamorous answer. Nope. Pretty boring (and perhaps psychotic) actually. I’ve been hiding.

Well, not actually hiding. The people that know me in real life still see me every single day. (I’m sure some are happier than others about that.) Would it be totally cliché to say I’ve been “finding” myself? That’s probably not such a stretch.

Here’s the thing. I started the facebook page May 2011. I obsessed over it. I felt I needed to comment on every single thing people said. It became my baby. As it grew bigger (as in – more likes), it became more pressure. I don’t know why really, but I felt like I had become this “face of fitness”. Now, I realize I’m probably giving myself waaay too much credit here. It’s not like I’m some kind of celebrity or anything. I’m so totally not. I just got overwhelmed in my own mind. I created unrealistic expectations for myself that I’m certain no one else had. Hell, most of you probably haven’t even noticed I’ve been missing for a month.

But, who was I to encourage you to eat better and exercise when I wasn’t? Who was I to ask you what you had done for YOUR health when I hadn’t done shit for mine? I was back to binge eating and logging no gym time. My weight was up. My spirits were down. I felt like a fraud.

Comments on my the facebook page started unnecessarily offending me. (I’ve come to realize that the bigger a page is, the more critical and negative people can be. The law of numbers, I suppose.) People would comment that a picture I posted was offensive. Or correct my spelling. (My spelling? Really?) I wanted to scream, “Look, bitches! This is my page!! I’m not getting paid for this! I do this on my own time and you read it voluntarily, so back off!” Of course, I didn’t. That would be completely out of line and inappropriate.

Then someone in real life referred to me writing about being depressed. It was used almost as a dig. I felt like I had been punched in the gut. That was the last straw. I felt like I had been violated. Why? I had written it. I put my name on it for all the world (and google) to see. I don’t have the answers to those questions. I just knew I needed to walk away.

Has the last month been better? I still have my struggles, just like you. Walking away just gave me one less thing to struggle with. Will I go back to posting regularly? Will the pressure get to me? I don’t know the answers to those questions. I know that I HAD to walk away. I know that a month away cured my insatiable desire to constantly check in on facebook. To leave inspiring status updates and to respond to all of your awesome comments. It reminded me that real life has to come first and if something I’m doing for “fun” isn’t actually fun anymore it’s okay to stop.

So, if you stick around, you’ll see some changes. I’m not sure what they’ll be, but hey, that’s the fun of it. I’m NOT an expert. That personal training certification I held for a year did NOT give me all the answers. It just gave me more questions. But what I do know is, I’m not stressing myself on a regular writing schedule or facebook updates. I’m not going to let my mood be swayed by blog stats and facebook views. I can’t. I’m more than a number. By the way, so are you!