During this stupid-crazy time of year, I encourage you to give yourself the gift of self-acceptance. Oh yeah, you’re going to hear me talk A LOT about self-acceptance in the upcoming weeks. So, well, accept it! I believe self-acceptance is the key to success… successful relationships, successful career, parenting, fitness, the list goes on and on.
Tell me if I’m wrong, but I’m guessing you downplay yourself quite a bit. See if this sounds familiar, “Oh my goodness you look great today.” Your response, “are you kidding? Look at this huge zit…look at the gray in my hair….look at the stain on my shirt.” Or how about this, “Your daughter’s birthday party was so much fun!” Your response, “oh, well obviously you didn’t go to Anna Fancypant’s party last weekend. It was so awesome. They had blah, blah, blah.”
Every time you find negative self-talk bubbling up in that pretty little head of yours say, “shut it, bitch!” You can say it out loud at first if you want – it might be kind of fun. Or at the very least your craziness will totally distract everyone from that gray in your hair. Honestly, I’ve struggled for a super long time with body image. No matter what size I was, what I saw in the mirror didn’t match what others saw. I was so incredibly self critical, I didn’t even enjoy my goal weight. Oh of course I did a little happy dance when I saw “the number”. And yes, I had a ridiculous grin on my face when I bought a pair of jeans with a really low number in them. Aside from that? I was worried about “toning up”. I was worried about running farther or doing more or (gasp) gaining back the weight. I never enjoyed that number. It turns out, my happiness had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with a number.
Since I wasn’t happy, old habits started showing back up in my life. Exercise became an option. Having seconds became okay because “tomorrow” I was going to get back on track. After all, I knew exactly what to do in order to get right back to where I was. You know, back to that number. Except my old tricks weren’t working. Or more than likely, I wasn’t as dedicated to them. This time around, I didn’t have a “why”. My “why” the first time I lost weight was to get to a certain number. I achieved that goal and it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be and I knew that in the back of my head. So this time around, once I “started” to lose weight again, I didn’t have a real “why”. My “why” was totally half-ass while my actual ass was more like an ass and a half.
There is little that is more humbling than losing weight in front of friends and family just to gain some of it back. I’m a personal trainer. That isn’t supposed to happen. In fact, I sometimes forget I’ve put on a few extra pounds. Right up until I see someone I haven’t seen in a while and I get that, “oh, well, um look at you” look from them. You know that look.
BUT, things have really started clicking for me lately. What has changed? Not my pant size. Not the size of my bootylicious booty. Nope, in fact my pants are tight and I’ve unofficially given up jeans. Why in the hell would I wear something that is so uncomfortable it cuts into my skin? Or is so loose in the waist in order to fit over the rest of my womanliness? The only thing that has changed is my perspective. I refuse to listen to the mean girl that lives in my head.
Oh it’s not always easy either. I look in the mirror and she really starts her shit sometimes. But, I’m a chic with an attitude and I don’t let bitches talk to me like that; not even the ones that live in my head. So I just look at her and smile and tell her, “not today. You have NO control over me today.” It doesn’t always work. She wins sometimes. But, I will NOT let that discourage me to continue to tell her to eff off. Nope. I’m going to continue to shut her down day after day even when I’m not feeling it. I will continue to shut her down until my voice is consistently louder than hers.
If I can do it, so can you. Make yourself the “why”. You are worth it. You are absolutely perfect just the way you are. You have to believe that. Believe it in your heart and your brain will follow. A number in your jeans or on your scale will not increase or decrease your awesomeness. The key to your happiness is in your way of thinking, not your way of eating. Start treating your body with the love and respect it deserves and you will “magically” discover your happy weight. You will over eat less because it’s not really what your body wants. You will find the workout that is for YOU and you will enjoy doing it. Even if it’s not what “everyone else is doing”.
Prove me wrong. I dare you.