I am obsessive. There, I said it. That line I’ve written “when I do something I go all in”? What that translates into is “when I do something I am totally, completely obsessed with it”. I live, eat, and breathe that “thing”. Whatever my “thing” of the moment is. It usually doesn’t take long until I move on to a new thing. Being obsessive is exhausting, after all.
My latest obsession, fitness, has outlasted all others because there are so many different facets to be obsessed with. First, I found the Couch to 5K. So, I read everything there was to read about running, shoes, clothes, safety, gait, training methods, etc. Then I moved on to food, learning what each food and macronutrient did to or for my body. What super foods were. If it were a hoax. Foods to speed up my metabolism. Foods that slow it down. Next up was fitness, learning how different exercises effected the muscles. What type of training was most effective; cardio, strength, both, HIIT, group classes, etc. I got certified as a trainer, I started a facebook page, I started this blog. See what I mean? Obsessed.
Then I hit a wall. I was doing too much; spreading myself too thin. I was spending more time on the computer than I was with my family. It was no longer fun. What the hell? It’s not like I’m getting paid for this. I write because I love to. I do the facebook page because it seems to inspire people. But, if I’m writing out of obligation, you aren’t getting a genuine representation of me. When I’m facebooking out of obligation, you aren’t getting the right kind of support. I have a desire to help people so obviously I don’t want to stop. But something’s got to give. What’s an obsessed person to do?
I’ll tell you what this obsessed person did. I gave up facebook. For three days. It was uncomfortable at first. Facebook is like my pacifier. I go to it if I’m bored, need a distraction, sitting at a stop light too long, near a computer…you get the idea. I would pick up my phone out of habit. I would sit at the computer and start logging in before I even realized what I was doing. But, I stopped myself. I didn’t peek or cheat. After the first day, I was less curious about what was happening and didn’t feel like I was missing out on anything. By the third day, it was complete relief that I didn’t have that constant itch to check it. In fact, I was supposed to go back on Facebook on Monday. When I logged in I quickly decided I had other things I should be doing and just logged right back off. I felt relaxed. Whatever was happening around me (in actual real life), I was a part of. When absolutely nothing was happening, I was a part of that too. There are times when I need nothing to be happening.
I did get on facebook today. Heck, someone even said they missed me on the fitness page (woo hoo, thanks!!). But, I realized the expectations I’ve set for myself are only expected by me. I’m pretty sure no one logs on facebook specifically to see what I’m doing. I seriously doubt anyone skipped a workout because I didn’t offer any “motivation”. (Well, except for maybe one person, but let’s be honest Aimee, that was just your excuse.) I’m also pretty sure my daughter appreciated having my undivided attention instead of me half listening, half looking at the computer while she’s trying to show me the latest dance move she’s created.
So, what’s the moral of the story? There’s life away from your computer screen (or phone). I promise you if something major happens, you’ll find out about it. (Although I did find out my brother got married on facebook, but my sis-in-law was calling me right as I read it.) That particular obsession, or distraction as it really became, was causing me grief. I was losing way too much time on the computer over something that really wasn’t that entertaining. Is it fun to go on? Sure, sometimes. But is it necessary to stalk my own posts to see if everyone else thinks I’m as funny as I do? Nope. If the only place I’m funny (or have friends) is behind a computer screen, I’ve got problems.
What distraction can you give up, or spend less time on, that would enable you to do more things that matter?